Over the past few years I’ve heard the same question from many directions. Older believers. Younger writers. Friends. People who faithfully attend church yet quietly admit something is missing. They’re struggling to name the emptiness, but they know it’s there.
I grew up in a traditional Protestant denomination. When I say, “grew up,” I mean I was raised from my very first days in and by the church. The teaching was strong and deep, and denominational doctrine was unchallenged. It wasn’t until middle age that I began to question some of that doctrine, and then only because life circumstances and God’s response to my heart’s cry opened my eyes.
It wasn’t that everything was bad in the beliefs I had been raised with, but they weren’t all correct either.
In His grace, God understands our struggle to understand and grants allowance for a certain amount of ambiguity in our many and varied belief systems. This is not to condone everything we believe, but He recognizes our challenge and is willing to work with us as we mature.
And that is our primary task as believers: to mature our faith in and relationship with God as we travel this journey.
If I were forced to summarize my beliefs, they would inevitably be incomplete. I believe there is one God, one Savior, and one Holy Spirit actively at work in the world today. I believe right and wrong are defined by God, not by changing culture. That is the foundation from which I write.
Now that I have laid the foundation, let me talk about what is really on my heart. It is the condition of today’s church. To start, I must say that I do not believe all churches fall short of their call. There are many good, solid, discipled churches that are doing good work. But, as many now perceive, something is too often missing.
While there are many issues, I see one as a major contributor, and that is that too many Christians have relegated church to a weekly diversion. Two, maybe three hours on a Sunday morning for most, then they are back to doing whatever normal life means to them. In other words, church has become an activity, not a spiritual engagement that continues throughout the week. Someone else does all the work; I just sit there and listen, then I leave. I take everything at face value without applying my own discernment.
For years, I didn’t realize I had fallen into much the same pattern.
The issue isn’t really attendance. It isn’t the kind or size of the church or the style of worship, either. Those things matter far less than the kind of relationship they nurture. The real question is this: Does my participation draw me into a deeper, more intimate relationship with Father God that continues long after Sunday has ended? Am I conscious of His presence and communing with Him as I live my daily life?
Every healthy Christian community should encourage, equip, and nurture that kind of intimacy with God. But no church can pursue Him on our behalf. The stewardship of that relationship ultimately belongs to each of us.
Things began to change for me as I became less interested in performing inside the church system and more interested in the depth and vitality of my personal relationship with Father God. That didn’t mean I stopped doing what I was doing, but the emphasis, motivation, and pursuit were immediately different, becoming deeply personal, intimate, and consuming.
When I first began to question some of the doctrine I was raised under, I made the discovery that the Holy Spirit is real and is God’s messenger to us today. I won’t get into specific incidents, but they are numerous and powerful enough to have gotten my attention in a serious way. As a result, our family moved to a non-denominational church. It was awesome. We became deeply involved and found genuine fellowship.
Then I began to realize something important was missing. Thousands filled the seats at every service, but the teaching was structured to be palatable to people without a deep relationship with the One that church is supposed to be about. It took a while, mainly because of the friendships that had been formed, but we eventually left that church because we were being fed oatmeal when we knew we needed real protein.
Where did we end up? If not in a traditional denomination and a traditional church, how did we honor God’s call to be in community with other believers while maturing our own faith and discipling others?
There are a couple of answers to that. We began in a small church that was more open to the Holy Spirit and where the teaching was rich. After a few years, retirement came along, and we ended up in a small mountain town. None of the churches seemed to fit us. What were we to do? We decided to become consumers of God’s ministry to our lives in a different manner. I did not think of it this way at the time, but we essentially went shopping, filling our cart with the answers that God seemed to handcraft for us. And, of course, that is exactly what He did.
We connected to a couple of international ministries that have vibrant virtual and sometimes in-person outreaches. We took classes, attended conferences and small study groups, and developed rich relationships within those communities.
Still today, I am connected to those groups and people, and I am engaged with two virtual men’s groups, one of which is nearing its tenth year and the other its ninth. These are not your typical men’s groups, at least not the ones I was previously involved with. There is real brotherhood, revelation, exploration, service, and deep commitment to God’s truth. In addition to these, I am now part of a close-knit group of young families who each realized that traditional churches were not meeting their needs and who banded together to form their own house church in which everyone shares leadership and teaching. None of these are primarily social groups; they are about the pursuit of a rich, deep, personal, and communal relationship with the Holy.
They aren’t “church as usual.”
So what is all of this really about? I hear a lot these days about the emptiness people feel with church. Many no longer find in church what their hearts are searching for.
One result is that there is a large body of believers who now feel distant from the church. It no longer fills their need to be in community with like-minded individuals who seek the truth and heart of God above all else. They are spiritual orphans, and they know it.
I wish I had the answer, but I am pretty certain it does not exist. What does exist, I believe, is an individual path for each one seeking an intimate relationship with the Holy. It may come in a traditional large body of believers, a small church, a small group that meets in a home, or even virtual groups.
The key thing is to be searching for the answer God has crafted specifically for you. It may be one or a combination of options. What I know for certain is that the Good Shepherd is looking out for His flock, searching for and rescuing those who are lost, those who are wandering aimlessly, and those who may not even realize their state at this point.
If you happen to fit into one of these categories and are searching for a way forward, I will say this: Realize that no church, no pastor, and no ministry can pursue God on our behalf. They can teach us, encourage us, and walk beside us, but the pursuit belongs to us alone. No one can walk your journey with God but you.
That is not a bad thing. It puts you right where you want to be, in the presence of the One who has been calling you all along. Do not lose faith. Do not lose hope. Let your heart petition God for relief.
Open your spiritual eyes and ears. Observe. Ask. Listen. Be alert and sensitive to what God brings in response to your plea.
And this:
Don’t be surprised if it looks and feels a bit different.
Shalom