Fourteen years ago, I experienced traumatic life changes, facing up to and revealing things that exposed my worldly appearance as a solid Christian believer and example for the farce it was. It was a horrible time, but it was also the doorway to complete freedom, forgiveness, redemption, and renewal.
This story is not unique to me, of course. Everyone who has surrendered the sin that weighs them down and devastates them to our loving God, who is waiting for our surrender, knows the story. From a dark torture chamber to a sunlit mountain meadow in spring in a single heartbeat. From excruciating pain and humiliation to indescribable joy and freedom. It was nothing less than that.
It was only the beginning. Years of hard work rebuilding trust, relationships, credibility, confidence, and self-respect followed. One of the things that resulted from the process was unusual and unexpected.
Over the course of my life, I have filled more computers and binders than I can recall or count with my daily journal entries. Most are mundane, some are meaningful, a few are life-changing. During the early phases of my restoration process, my journal began to fill with poems. I’ve never read poetry beyond what was required, nor did I know anything about writing poetry, yet there they were, staring me in the face. I recall those unexpected moments when they came, literally pouring out of my heart with such emotion, cleansing, and healing that I could do nothing but weep in gratitude.
Those poems have been sitting in my computer ever since. Largely unlooked at but often on my mind. They represent a new hope and purpose. A new me.
About three months ago I received a spiritual nudge to bring those poems forward as music. Me, whose only musical talent is operating the remote control. Still, the nudge persisted. So I ventured into the AI music world, providing lyrics and prompts to build an EP of six songs. There are more, but they are private.
The title of this post is the title of one of the songs and the EP. The song honors the most important person in my life. Her courage and strength. Her grace and integrity. And it tells the story of how her faith and belief became my trail guide and destination. It tells the story of how I finally came to a real, deep, personal relationship with my Lord. Not knowing about Him but knowing Him, the person and intimate friend. Like others in the set, the turn comes in the last line, a shadow of the light that led me there.
The EP is now live on major streaming outlets (Spotify, YouTube, Pandora, Apple Music, iHeart, etc.). The music style is different than most of today’s pop or Christian music. Most songs are in what I think of as acoustic folk genre, a couple are different.
My prayer is that those who need it will find it. That it will be a light to others who are wondering how to escape darkness. I can promise you this, no one is exempt from God’s mercy and grace when they surrender.
All He wants is everything.
Shalom
Listen to In Ways I Have Never Known
The six-song EP is available on major streaming platforms.
🎵 Spotify, Apple Music, Amazon Music & iTunes
If these songs speak to you, I hope you’ll share them with someone who might need to hear them.